Why the Most Beautiful Poems Defy Understanding

This struck me as so perfectly true that I can’t believe I never realized it before. It’s why people return to former friends and lovers once lost. Its why sometimes we live in circles inn stead of defined lines. There is no beginning or end to a relationship… even in death the living soul revisits.

“A poem is like a person. The more you know someone, the more you realize there is always something more to know and understand. A final understanding could probably only begin upon permanent separation, or death. This is why we come back to certain poems, as we do to places or people, to experience and re-experience, to see ourselves for who we truly are, and to continue to be changed.”

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The Queen’s Demand

I wish you could see what I think about

Open my skull and poke around

See the depth of your influence

Witness the lengths of your afluence

Can’t you hear the calling horn

The blazing notes are so deafening

I’ve belted out your name repeatedly

Don’t you feel the heat of it

I’m not sure you understand it’s meaning

The stark truth of this reckoning

There wasn’t a choice, there never was

You are mine and no one else’s

We shall live in peace and harmony

A golden throne of obedience

I’ll raise my voice to the calling

You’ll kneel at the foot of my surroundings

Fire and Ice will meld as one

But I will rule over one and all

Open my mind and you will see

The lengths I’ll take controling every sea

You’re mine now darling you can’t escape

There is no path for you to take

Bow now to your rightful Queen

I’ll show you all what it means to lead

Ghosts

I’m not afraid of the silence, I don’t shy away
There’s nothing to keep me from opening my mouth
Speaking now what I was desperate to say
And yet I keep the words locked behind my lips
I deny the relief of a word well said
Because I know you aren’t ready to listen to the vowels
To hear the truth, to listen to me now
I told you then what is still true now
I explained myself in the only way I know how
And now you are gone, a ghost in my path
With a mountain of words still locked on my tongue
I’d say it’s unfair but I know that it’s not
You owe me nothing, not an ounce of yourself
And yet I still think it’s not quite what you think
I was here to give you all that you need
To open my heart and let you in, can’t you see?
I wasn’t afraid of the monsters inside
Holding each other would have slayed them alive
I only wanted to live next to you
Instead we are living alone in the blue
The silence of lonely and the coldness of time
All I ever wanted was for you to be mine

I Write Down Wishes So That They Come True

The Alchemist was one of the best books I’ve ever read. It was so incredibly…purposeful.

Lipstick and Laundry

And when you want something, all the Universe conspires in helping you achieve it

~~Paulo Coelho from The Alchemist

*****

It’s no secret to the people who live inside my bubble, that I’ve been unsettled all summer. That I’m antsy and tackling bones that won’t rest. On the days that I don’t travel for work, I walk through my flowers in the morning so I can catch the sun’s rays on the petals as well as check for dry soil and droopy leaves. It’s necessary and sets the stage for a productive day.

My evening ritual takes the same route–but it’s a medicinal meander and I use it to meditate and look for a family of owls who join me sometimes. 

My eyes land on bees and butterflies as my heart tries to leap through my rib cage to the huge sycamore overlooking my precious space. 

Each evening, thoughts drift…

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Last night I dreamed….

Last night I slipped into the weight of dreams and there you were. You were waiting for me. With a wide smile on your face and the look of mischievous wonder twinkling in your eyes. I ran to you, flung my arms wide, and tackled you with a hug.

“You’re here!” I cried out, and you laughed at me as you nodded your head. You took my hand and lead me down a dirt path winding through a maze of trees. We were in the forest, Yosemite to be exact, a place we never had been together but in the back of my mind always wanted to be with you.

“I can’t believe I get to see you,” I said in a rush of excitement, staring up at you. Your smile didn’t end, it split wide across your features and spread throughout your entire body. Your cheeks bloomed softly with enthusiastic color, and your eyes shown bright with the realization that we were walking together; that we found a place to just be.

“I’ve wanted to see you for so long. Just to know that you are real, that you exist. I know that’s silly, but it’s true.”

You look at me then, and the happiness falters. Your eyes turned soft with understanding, and they swam with the pain and yearning of a life that could never be. “You can’t have everything my sweetheart. It can’t be done.”

I nodded at your word despite my desperation to fight against them. “Just be here with me now, in this place and in this moment. I can’t give you what is not mine to give,” you said. “I can be here for you, in this remote place. You can have me here and I promise that I’ll never leave.”

It wasn’t enough for me, and you smiled again at my stubbornness to have what I wanted. “I don’t understand why I can’t be with you,” I said, stomping my foot with finality.

You pulled me into your arms and placed your chin on my head as you held me. And I wept. “Me either,” you said on a heavy sigh. “Me either.”

Weapons of Self Destruction

Sometimes you write something that so perfectly captures a moment in your life that you fall in love with the words despite the feelings or emotions they bring along with them. This poem was written in a hard time in my life, and a moment when I realized that I needed to let out the emotion I had bottled up inside in-order to start a new life. A fresh beginning. I love this poem, and I hope you enjoy it too:

Don’t worry dear sweet
This won’t take long
It will happen so fast
You won’t even know
Look at the pictures
And take it all in
Stab your self hard
Don’t you dare give in
Hold onto the knife
Don’t you dare let it go
Push it in deep
Until you can’t say no
Listen to me now
There’s nothing to save
Watch yourself bleed out
All over the page
Rip your chest open
And bare it to me
Blessed sweet darling
Give it all up to me
And when you see him
For the very next time
You’ll feel nothing inside
Where it once felt Devine
Now tear out the dagger
You shoved so hard in
And submit to the tears
Before your new life begins