Yes indeed…I do. I very much DO!
In less than 10 days my life is going to change. In ways I only every dreamed of, and was never truly certain would happen.
Next week Thursday I get to marry my best friend. I get to walk down the aisle toward him in a beautiful dress, surrounded by amazing friends and family, in the beginning of a fantastic new year, and hold his hand and promise my heart and life to him. I never thought I would be so lucky! To find someone I can laugh with, watch movies and TV shows and obsess over the VFX and script with, eat chocolate and drink our fancy drinks one night and then work out and drink healthy shakes the next night. This man is a dream, truly a complete and total dream. Perhaps I walked into a disney movie and my amazing viking man followed me back to reality.
People always say that cliche thing when they get married, “I knew when I met them that they were the one!” It didn’t work like that for me and my Bear. We met, and it was a whirlwind amazing adventure, but we didn’t stay together. We remained friends, but somewhat amicably went our separate directions 7 months after we met.
He was my friend. My late night social hang out. My musically talented guitarist and singer that would come over and play the black guitar I had that only accumulated dust until I met Bear. He would always come bearing gifts; ice cream, beer, a fantastic movie. And we would spend hours talking, giggling, obsessing over the latest game of thrones episode, but still for the longest time we were just friends.
It wasn’t until my 27th birthday that a wall of reality slapped me across the face and I saw Bear for the first time as someone I wanted to share my life with. It was like a mac truck. It hurt. I was breathless. And I had no idea how to tell him that I was totally crazy about him. Was I in love? Well, at that moment I had no idea what I was. But I was very much in LIKE with him. More than anyone I had ever known.
I didn’t wait long to literally scream at him that I was in love with him, nor did it take me long to burst into tears and tell him that I just wanted to be with him. That I couldn’t believe I had wasted all those months, days, years of time. I should have been with him from the start, but I also had a lot of growing up to do. I’m glad I took the time to figure out myself, but I also realized that perhaps I was far too late.
I couldn’t believe my lucky starts when he kissed me, said he loved me too. I practically hugged myself silly when he said he was ready to move in with me. And I cried tears of pure joy when he got down on his knees at Harry Potter land in Universal Studios and asked me to marry him in front of all of our friends. This man, this amazing fantastic wonderful man is going to be my husband. And I just can’t believe that this is reality, I can’t believe that I get to be so lucky.
And I know what you are thinking. Gross, stop it with the fairy tale…I am so lucky B.S. I will be the first to tell you that love is HARD! And being in a long term relationship takes a lot of work. I don’t love this man because he is attractive (although he VERY much is) and I don’t love him because he is smart and charismatic (although he is those things also!). I love this man because he takes out the trash without me having to ask him to. He gets out from underneath the covers in the cold of the night to get me a glass of water because I am coughing. He separates the laundry and helps me complete a load when I have to get to sleep and he knows that I need my eight hours of sleep. It’s the way he smiles at me when I am wearing no make up seeing that I look so much like a pink faced puffy version of what I normally look like. It’s the late night back rubs and foot rubs without me asking him to. It’s the way he eats every single dinner I make him and always assures me that it’s the most delicious thing he has ever had. It’s the intense focus he has on his work, and the ability to make me feel as though no matter what, he is going to support me. It’s his compassion, his desire to love me, his ability to tease me in the best way not a mean way, his affection for me…the true me. It’s the way he accepts when he is wrong and tries to fix it. It’s the way he points out when I am wrong and allows me to take time to accept it. He is not just a man, he is my best friend, and my confidant. He is more than any man I have ever known, and still he remains humble, loyal, and incredibly loving.
I don’t say all this to showcase what I have and you don’t. That is not the point. Each one of us has our victories, and in finding something I didn’t think existed, I have found one of my victories in life. The point of this is to showcase that real men, hard working, loyal and loving men do exist. I didn’t think they did. I was very much in a mind set that my Dad is an anomaly, and there were no men that could be as amazingly hard working, loving and loyal as he is. But I was proved wrong. Bear proved me wrong.
I love this man, my future husband. And I thank all the gods in all of existence that on that one fateful day I looked at his dating profile picture and said, “Oh, I like this guys peacoat. I should see if he wants to go for a hike.” And the rest my dear friends, will be oh so sweet and delightful history.
Cheers to you my love, I can’t wait for this next adventure of ours to begin.